"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I have asked of Him."
1 Samuel 1:27
Today my "baby" is 4. Can I officially call her a baby?...I can still pick her up and cradle her in my arms. ?....No?... I guess not because when I do this she giggles and comments, "Momma, you are holding me like a baby!"....I ask, "Is that okay?"...she smiles and says, "O'course!". She is a miracle.
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| A rare Feb. 2010 snow, our pasture |
Much like my two step-daughters are a miracle. Like my marriage is a miracle to me. Let me back track to say that I don't just call anything a miracle, but I also see the miraculous in maybe some everyday things. You see, I can still remember by biggest hopes even as a young teen were to be married, have a large family, and live on a farm.
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| Helpin' daddy on the farm |
I do now live on a farm, and I was thoroughly single until I met my husband to be (blind date set up by my sister--which is a pretty cool story by itself)....I mean the miracle here was that he was my first boyfriend ever...and I was 29! On our second date I told him how I so desired to have about 6 kiddos, and without a missing a beat (even as a divorced, single-father of two precious toddlers) he said, "Well we have two, four to go."
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| Sara and Sophia in footy pajamas, winter 2008 |
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| Sophia and Anna, she's one year old |
Then after we got married we started praying, trying and hoping for our third (my first biologically). For nearly two years and some testing (we both checked out fine) we kept hoping and hoping. I will be honest to say there were a lot of tears on my part...especially at a certain time of the month.
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| Westminster Abbey, August 2009 |
Then, I so particularly remember one Sunday in January of 2006....we were at our favorite brunch place after church and I was a week "late" (even though I have always been, let's say "irregular")and I felt elated. I remember as we waited for our order I looked at David and said, "Um, I think we are pregnant." He sweetly smiled and said, "Yep, I think we are." somehow knowingly. A week after that I went to my OB/GYN and it was official, Sophia was on the way, after months and months....our miracle.
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| Sisters+Cousins=Happy times, Christmas 2008 |
October came and Sophia was born....joy of joys for us all!...but my body took the pregnancy as a stress (and I'd only gained 19 pounds) and Lupus set in. As I am regularly checked on by my doctors and I am on medication to maintain my symptoms (mostly affecting my skin and particularly my hands), I feel fine, but have found out that the Lupus may complicate us getting pregnant again. If, Lord willing, I do get pregnant, it may exacerbate my symptoms, but thankfully should not affect the womb. But for these last 3 and some years of praying and hoping we have not had our joyous news again.
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| "What are you doing Sophia?", I ask....she says, "I am a fashion model, reading" |
Every child is a miracle. But, I count the privilege of carrying a healthy child dearly as a miracle too. And seeing Sophia as she grows each step of the way is miraculous to me indeed. I enjoy the little person she is with her own personality, her likes, dislikes and foibles. So, here's to my joy and miracle: four things (plus)
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| Sophia turns 2 |
1. She loves gingerbread cake (her description for both gingerbread and chocolate cake)
2. When it is time to nap or she is tired she tells us, "I think I need to chill now"
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| Sophia in Seville, Spain (June 2008) |
3. Instead of saying something she says, "sum-ping"
4. Lately when she says her prayers she adds, "I pray for my big red dog (we don't own one, she is praying for her fave cartoon character, Clifford), and a tractor", so for her party we made a Clifford cake, and yep, she got a tractor....look at her go (and grow).
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| She's a country girl |
PLUS: the other day when she rummaged through her hefty stash of dress up clothes (thanks to her big sisters) she put on the barbie bride dress and said, "look momma, it is my wedding.". I told her that yes, it is a wedding dress and asked, "Do you know what a wedding is?"...she said, "a birthday party." I told her that when she gets bigger and meets a man after God's own heart and they love each other, she would marry him and be with him like I am with daddy, and they would have their own home and maybe she would have babies of her own.......She furrowed her brow and looked quite serious and said, "I don't want to have my birthday and get bigger and be married, momma. I want to stay little and always be with you." Gulp, words to a mom-of-a-toddler ears.... I told her, "Of course you will be with us for a long time still", as I hugged her. Then, no lie, she grasped my face in her two little hands and said, "Momma I love you so much, always." Double gulp... I love her to the moon and back.
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She mommy's Barnes & Noble buddy too!
We love you pill! |
In Christ,
