Robert Frost

The best way out is always through.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The tender thread

Hello blogging friends.  I hold your condolences and prayers very dearly.  I do have to say that everything has shifted, for my mom most especially. I am so thankful that she has a relationship with the Lord and holds tight to Him in her grieving.  Pete had many health issues over the last 10 years and especially this last year saw many more physical lows than highs, but still his going seemed sudden.  My sister and I (my mom's only kids), have been taking turns staying with her and sifting through necessary paperwork to take care of and of course, packing some of Pete's items.  And when you do that part, memories and truths come out along with the tears. 
 Papo Pete, Sophia, Mimi Louisa
Step family can be a very tender thread and only those in it can truly speak to its dynamic.  My sister and I love our dad but we saw him 2-3 times a year after our parents divorced and so Pete was a father to us in all our everyday needs.  Now, I am a step mom and blessedly our girls are with us half the time (half a week with us and half with their mom) and have a very active mom in their lives.   My relationship with them is as a mom but never in place of their mom, and yes, at times this can be tricky, but love is the constant covering. 

Now, I also know that just the word "family" itself, can come loaded with baggage (good and bad), but recently some of my heartache comes from the facet of being a step-daughter.  Well meaning and also grieving extended family have come up to my sister and I without personal condolences but adjuring us to take care of our mom and understand how much she has lost.  I know so more clearly now that I will never take for granted the losses of others no matter the "title" of their relation to the one lost.  Now, I hope to not be misunderstood in belittling my mom's mourning but as I focus on stepfamilyhood, I more clearly see that no one but us and the Lord knows what was truly woven together to make our family. 
Thanksgiving 2007
Family to me encompasses the earthly relations and those the Lord brings into our lives that complete our spiritual family.  Those kindred spirits and hearts that drop everything to cheer us on, let us cry on their shoulder, and pray for our large and small concerns and for whom we do the same.  The dear "family" that we can call in the middle of the night to air our "worries" or share in our secret joys.  Family means so much. 

And I pray to appreciate even more these hearts dear to me that help me to know more of Jesus and what it means to love as He has encouraged me to do.  I am glad that He brought to mind this scripture that I tripped upon a while back and became overwhelmed by its truth in my life:  

 "I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love;"  Hosea 11:4a


It's me said...

Blessings and strength...............for you and your family in this hard times

God is a great man !!

Hugs from me Ria

BonjourRomance said...

Dear Jenny,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, for you, your sister and your dear Mom. This is a hard time but the Lord will definitely give you all the strength to get through. Your stepdad is safe in the arms of Jesus!! And you have the increduble comfort of knowing that you will all meet him again in Heaven.
You will be in my prayers sweet friend,

A Tale of Two Cities said...

Tis true that family is painted in many different colors. We hold each other close and grieve the loss of one of our own. May you find comfort in the arms of the Father of Compassion in the days to come.


Jennifer K said...

I didn't check by your blog for a few days so I'm just finding out now what happened. I'm so sorry for your loss. I like what you wrote about families and step-families. People have to keep in mind that even if one is "only" a stepdaughter or stepsister or whatever, there are still true bonds between that person and others in the family, with real heartache and grief. I hope things start getting a little easier soon.

Rebecca Ramsey said...

I'll be praying for you and for your family, that you will feel God's loving arms around you as you grieve the loss of your sweet step dad.
Hugs to you!

Jenny said...

Ria, Mimi, Debi, Jennifer and Rebecca, thank you. It is amazing all that needs to be done and so the blog has been a help to get thoughts out a bit. Thank you so much for your prayers. The Lord is at work through them.

Sally Annie Magundy said...

Hi Jenny,
Thank you so very much for your sweet comment on my post about Fred's passing - I so appreciate your kindness and friendship.
Sending lots of hugs, I'm so sorry that some family members have not included your and your sister in their condolences.
When my mother died, my own father didn't comfort me or acknowledge my loss in any way - it was all supposed to go his way. (He always was the center of his own universe, why should the loss of his life partner change anything?! WAH!) But that's a whole long other (dysfunctional) story.
Please know you are in my thoughts,

Kristin said...

It's so moving to read about your family! I'm so sorry about your step father who passed away! Hope you are doing good and I really wish you a happy weekend!

Kristin XXXX

Le Chateau des fleurs said...

I am so sorry :(
Big hugs from me.

Sally Annie Magundy said...

Hi Jenny,
Just checking in to say hello. Hope all is well with you.

Le Chateau des fleurs said...

Jenny, i have my Party going on and my give away. Just want to let you know :)
Big hugs your way!
Have a good week end. Relax.

Jenny said...

Sally, Kristin, Frenchy...thank you for the thoughtful encouragement and care! I have been on a bit of a break (blogging) but I have been keeping up with y'all's blogs and commenting when I can.


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